所谓的距离……

所谓的距离……

以前，我觉得世界上最遥远的距离，不是生与死，而是我就站在你面前，你却不知道我喜欢你；

大了一点的时候，我觉得世界上最遥远的距离，不是我就站在你面前你却不知道我喜欢你，而是明明知道彼此相爱，却又不能在一起；

后来，我觉得世界上最遥远的距离，不是明明知道彼此相爱却又不能在一起，而是明明无法抵挡这种思念，却还得故意装做丝毫没有把你放在心里；

现在，我觉得世界上最遥远的距离，不是明明无法抵挡这种思念却还得故意装做丝毫没有把你放在心里，而是面对爱你的人，用冷漠的心，掘了一条无法跨越的沟渠。

愛情很簡單(忍耐6分鍾)

雨過後是個艷陽天，早上把家裡每個角落打掃得一塵不染，然後把自己床上的被子抱出去曬著，讓它們吸收太陽的香味。

到了下午，坐在陽臺那扇落地窗前，讓陽光柔柔地瀉進房間，給自己泡一杯熱茶，看著手裡這只透明的小碗似的玻璃杯，心底溫潤恬靜。

這只杯子是多年前母親送的，和一套包裝拙樸的茶葉盒裝在一起，杯底有幾行紅顏色小字。茶葉早已喝完了，這只杯子我一直留著，每次用它，總是想起剛結婚頭幾年的日子。

那時婚禮舉行後，同住在一個屋簷下。本以為從此郎情妾意地全是陽光燦爛，不曾想卻為一點雞毛蒜皮的事整天吵吵鬧鬧，怎麼也找不到相濡以沫的感覺。

只要有一點兒事不合心意，不是吵架就是立刻掉頭就走，吵架越來越多的結果是，做丈夫的大叫要離婚，我也不甘示弱，說離婚就離婚，誰還怕誰不成？

夜裡，我蒙著被子不停地流淚，原來那個溫柔體貼好脾氣的男人哪裡去了？

我難道就要跟這樣一個抵死不肯認錯，什麼事都要跟我針尖麥芒的男人一起再過20年、30年？

我要的婚姻怎會是這個樣子，那種風和日麗、晴空萬裡的日子還會不會回來？


忍不住去跟母親訴苦，下定決心說要離婚。母親卻說天下沒有不吵架的夫妻，你們總是爭吵不休不是因為你們有天大矛盾，只是因為你們欠缺成年人應有的耐心和細心。

你總認為男人應該有寬闊的胸襟，包容的氣度，讓你任性胡來。他也是初為人夫年輕氣盛，人家憑什麼回回讓著你，你為什麼不能在吵架的時候忍耐一下？

母親說完起身去廚房泡了杯茶給我。這是什麼味道？又苦又澀！哪裡是茶？

分明是劣質中藥！我立刻從嘴裡吐出來。母親看著我搖搖頭，說這茶是去旅行時，在一家寺院旁邊的小店裡買的，味道很是特別。

母親說，你再試一下，這次不要吐出來，我又喝一口，這次不那麼苦了，還是有些澀。母親說喝這種茶不能急，要細細地品味，每一分鍾的味道都不同。每一遍味道也不同，我再品一口，濃濃的清苦過後竟是一種回甘。

母親拿來一個長方形的紙盒，裡面有一隻粗粗笨笨的小木盒裡裝著這種看上去黑黑的茶，另外卻配了一隻透明的小碗一樣的漂亮杯子。杯子的底部用紅色寫著一行英文，直譯過來是這樣的——『試一試你對人生能付出多少勇力和毅力：1分鍾、味道真太糟糕！

2分鍾、又苦又澀。3分鍾、忍耐一下不要急於放棄，4分鍾、我們理解你的感受，5分鍾、現在會有一些清香。6分鍾、苦盡甘來，你盡可以開懷暢飲！』

母親說如果對生活沒有足夠的耐心和勇氣，就連一杯看似普通的茶都能欺騙你。就像平常人家的婚姻生活，平庸和苦澀下常有甜蜜和溫情。

只需要你在必要的時候耐心一點，讓自己心平氣和下來，你會覺得事情遠沒有那麼嚴重，就像這杯茶遠沒有那麼苦澀一樣。

然後，你就會換一種心情給對方。記得紅樓夢裡那個鏡子謎語的謎面吧：人笑亦笑，人哭亦哭。

夫妻其實就是對方的鏡子。對他笑一笑又能吃什麼虧？

記住，他是你要共度一生的男人。那一次我在母親家裡呆到下午，拿著玻璃杯翻來覆去地看著上面的字，想了又想。

匆匆趕回家，算好了先生下班的時間，我在廚房假裝忙碌。透過窗子看見先生愁眉不展地從小區大門口進來，然後，門鈴就響得驚天動地——他又忘記帶鑰匙了。

我都不記得他這是一周內第幾次忘記帶鑰匙了。平時我一定會嘮嘮叨叨地叫上半天，今天我對自己說：『不要生氣！不要去指責他這是第一百次忘記帶鑰匙，不要威脅他再也不給他開門。忘記帶家裡的鑰匙並沒有多麼糟糕。』

然後嘴裡數著字從廚房走向大門。從1到6，換上微笑打開大門：『回來了！』順手還接下他的公事包。

『嗯！回來了！』他先是一怔，不可置信地看著我，接著竟然喜出望外地笑了：『你做什麼好吃的？好香啊！』他快樂得像個孩子，雙臂還環上來在我腰間一抱，這纔坐下來換拖鞋。

一下子就呆住了。突然發現以前真的是自己不夠有耐心，結婚幾年了，從來不記得什麼時候在他下班時以笑容相迎過。

漸漸改變自己的態度，遇上發生矛盾就強迫自己閉上嘴回到臥室默默數數，然後換一種表情出來和他一起看電視轉播各種球賽。

先生也逐漸柔和起來，有了不同意見也總是輕聲細語慢慢道來，大多數時候也知道退讓；看電視也不跟我搶電視遙控器。

偶爾出差從不忘記買小禮物回來；只要有時間，就陪我坐在陽臺上聊天，周日帶我去郊遊；休息日一大早就跑菜場買菜，雖然買的菜又差又貴，我還是滿心歡喜地誇獎他。

不過是忍耐6分鍾，竟能讓原本即將倒塌的圍城化為風光無限。

时间？距离？

两个人之间。。。
真的会被现实打败吗？
现在感觉上好像真的被打败了。。
不是被时间，距离。。。
而是我们自己。。。

幸福。。。。

今天看完了（下一站，幸福）。。。
缘分，命运。。。
发现到这些都是幸运的东西。。。
然而。。。 努力握紧，争取才会得到幸福。。。
想对着未来的你说： 握紧了的手，别指望我放开。。。。
一对男女，能有多少次命运的安排，多少段的缘分。。。
第一次分开。。。 有缘又相聚。。。
你却说缘分无处不在。。。
确实。。。 缘分无处不在。。。
你说得对。。。
唉。。。
好想对你说。。。 对不起。。。

無言，是愛的兩種境界

兩人相處久了，漸漸出現許多沉默的片刻，是好還是壞？

愛情裡的無言，可能是兩個人相處時最高的層次，也可能是彼此溝通時最壞的狀況。

因為忙碌及時間安排的關係，還處於熱戀期的他們，竟然已經一個多月沒有碰面。所以，這回相見的一剎那，彼此都有點激動。當時，天空下著毛毛雨絲，他來車站接她，還美中不足地遲到了半個鐘頭。只見她耐住性子，微笑以對。 「妳沒有生氣吧？」他道歉地說。 

「怎麼會？」她激動到幾乎說不出話來。而心中想說的是：當然不生氣呀，小傻瓜，一個多月都熬過去了，哪裡還在乎這三十分鐘呢？可是，你也有點扯喔！居然捨得讓我一個人站在微風細雨中，等了那麼久……心中的千言萬語，轉呀轉的，卻是一句話也說不出口。她抿著嘴，用微笑的表情，將自己的小手交到他的手裡，兩個人緊緊地握著。所有沒說出口的話，他彷彿都明白了。

無言，是愛情的一種境界。但是，愛情裡的無言，也有兩種狀況。它的層次可以高到很高；也可以低到很低。從前，當他和另一位女孩交往的時候，她也常常不講話。但是，情形很不一樣。有時候，是因為生悶氣，所以不講話。有時候，並不生氣，但就是無話可說。

印象很深刻的是，有一次他送她禮物，本來想給她驚喜。但顏色不如她的意，她悶了好久，都不說話。事過境遷，她才跟他說，當時她覺得很遺憾，為什麼愛情總要有美中不足的地方？還有一回，他約她看歐洲舞團的表演，結束之後，他激動地想跟她分享一些感觸，她也說不上幾句。兩個人有一搭、沒一搭地，把一個氣氛很浪漫的夜晚，弄得十分無聊而冗長。

愛情裡的兩種無言，有點像品質好壞截然不同的冷氣機。同樣都是不滴水，有的是故障，有的是新發明。你總要搞出一身汗來，才會發現錯在哪裡。也可能會有更慘的情況是，從頭到尾，都不知道問題到底出在哪裡！

冷氣機品質的最高境界，是「無聲勝有聲」；但是，愛情裡的無言，卻可能是兩個人相處時最高的層次，也可能是彼此溝通時最壞的狀況。

當沈默潛入你和他之間，是好、是壞，你是否能分辨？學習享受安靜的片刻，或化解沈悶的危機，都是戀愛時很重要的功課。

戀愛的收放法則
如何分辨「無言」的層次？ 當相愛的兩個人靜靜地坐在一起時，如果其中有一方覺得焦慮不安，就表示溝通有障礙。如果兩人都覺得幸福自在，這是最高品質的愛！
 

愈怕傷害，愈要談戀愛

有人說：戀愛像出麻疹，反正一生總要經歷，與其遲遲才來，不如早點出疹子，將來抵抗病毒的免疫力會比較強。

不論你是否同意這個說法，從每次我到大學校園演講時，同學提出問題的方式，倒是可以看到一個有趣的現像-——麻疹是愈出愈早了！

幾年前，同學們經常問到:念書的時候，一定得談戀愛嗎？

我很喜歡一個人，該不該讓他知道？現在比較常問的則是：“初戀的對像，會是將來婚姻的伴侶嗎？

看著發問的人，表情那麼認真、和他的另一半手拉得的那麼緊，我不得不把答案分成兩半，當面告訴他其中的一半：只要你們真心相待，好好經營，初戀的對像當然有可能會成為婚姻的伴侶，就算不能在婚姻上結合，至少彼此都可以在相愛的過程中變得更成熟！

而將答案的另外一半從我嘴邊吞下去：但是，愛情的變數也很多哦！我想，他們應該比較需要鼓勵。講得太實在，聽起來像是恐嚇！

不論怎麼說，樂觀總比悲觀好，真正樂觀的人，在戀愛過程中，總是充滿積極的念頭，懂得把不利因素轉化成為有幫助的能量，把親身遇到的問題，當作可以練習解決的課題，而不是阻礙。

愛情的確有太多的變數！重點是你必須懂得掌握變化的節奏；一顆漂亮的水晶球，觀看的角度不同，呈現的色彩風貌也各不相同。

有些人准確地看到未來；有些人只是來印證心中的幻影，有些人小心翼翼帶著它浪跡天涯；有些人抱在家裡卻意外摔破了它，唉……該怎麼說呢？

我大學時代認識的朋友，有一對恩愛的校對，畢業後閃電結婚，後來也閃電離婚了。當初抱持獨身主義的人，現在卻兒女成行。

最被看好的模特兒美女，遲遲沒有結婚。相戀多年卻在大四分手的一對男女朋友，幾年後破鏡重圓，成為人人稱羨的佳偶。

短短的幾年，長長的情債，像極了一部精采的愛情小說。原來，變，才是愛情裡不變的本質。改變，不代表傷害。傷害，也不代表不愛，愈怕傷害的人，愈應該勇敢去愛，抗拒改變的人，往往跟不上愛情的節拍。

我念高中的時候，不會游泳，又因為怕水而不敢勤加練習。舉行體育測驗時，老師非常嚴厲把我踢下水。他站在岸上大吼：“喝幾口水，不會有事的！”

到現在還令我印像深刻。就像電視上礦泉水的廣告:沒事，多喝水；多喝水，沒事！一模一樣……現在想來，十分好笑，但是，他說的是對的。

我終於明白：戀愛，也像游泳一般，愈怕水愈要接近水，愈早學習愈容易學會。

39 Powerful Quotes That Will Change the Way You Live and Think

39 Powerful Quotes That Will Change the Way You Live and Think

by Emily Co3/12/14 381 Reactions 6.7K Shares Print

3.1K 3.5K 40 20 5

       

Words have power — and these inspiring quotes are guaranteed to challenge the way you think and perhaps even change the way you live.

Source: Shutterstock

Don't Hold a Grudge

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Quote:

"Forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace."

Lesson to learn:

Being angry at someone hurts only you. Let go of your anger, not for the other person, but for yourself. Remember, forgiving doesn't mean forgetting. Forgiving means accepting that it happened.

Source: Shutterstock

How to Truly Listen

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Quote:

"Most people do not listen with the intent to understand. Most people listen with the intent to reply."

Lesson to learn:

Ask yourself if you're truly listening to others or if you're being distracted by your own chatter. Sometimes, listening means staying silent to give others a chance to talk, soaking it in, then perhaps responding if your response is needed.

Source: Shutterstock

Stop Comparing Yourself With Others

4 2 0 0 1 0

       

Quote:

"The reason why we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind the scenes with everyone else's highlight reel."

Lesson to learn:

You may think everyone is better than you are, but you are only seeing the image they portray to others. Everyone has their own fears and weaknesses — after all, we're all human. Stop comparing yourself to others, because you'll always come up short.

Source: Shutterstock

You Never Forget a Feeling

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Quote:

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."

Lesson to learn:

We may not remember the details, but we'll always remember the impact a person had on us.

Source: Shutterstock

Nobody's Perfect

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Quote:

"Think of the most attractive person you know. Even that person, at some point, has had raging diarrhea."

Lesson to learn:

Nobody's perfect — even Jennifer Lawrence has had raging diarrhea. Probably.

Source: Shutterstock

Don't Get Too Comfortable

1 7 1 0 0 0

       

Quote:

"A ship is safe in harbor, but that's not what ships are for."

Lesson to learn:

We can be safe and comfortable at home, but the point of life is to experience adventure and live it to the fullest.

Source: Shutterstock

Pick Yourself Up

1 3 0 0 0 0

       

Quote:

"If you're going through hell, keep going."

Lesson to learn:

The only way out of a bad situation is to continue in order to get yourself out of it.

Source: Shutterstock

It Only Counts When It Hurts

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Quote:

"I don't count my sit-ups. I only start counting when it starts hurting. That is when I start counting, because then it really counts. That's what makes you a champion."

Lesson to learn:

The victories only truly count when they take the most effort. Push yourself by celebrating the ones that made you work for it.

Source: Getty

Great Things Always Begin From the Inside

3 9 1 0 0 0

       

Quote:

"If an egg is broken by an outside force, life ends. If broken by an inside force, life begins. Great things always begin from the inside."

Lesson to learn:

Real change can only come from within.

Source: Shutterstock

Anything Is Possible

1 2 0 0 0 0

       

Quote:

"The fool didn't know it was possible, so he did it."

Lesson to learn:

Don't be bound by limits you impose on yourself. Anything is possible.

Source: Shutterstock

Be Yourself

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Quote:

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."

Lesson to learn:

Be yourself and the people who will accept you for who you are are the ones worth keeping around. Those who won't accept you for who you are aren't worth your time and energy.

Source: Shutterstock

The Secret to Success

2 0 0 0 0 0

       

Quote:

"You might have more talent than me, you might be smarter than me, you might be sexier than me, you might be all of those things you got it on me in nine categories. But if we get on the treadmill together, there are two things: You're getting off first, or I'm going to die. It's really that simple, right?"

Lesson to learn:

Someone else may be better than you in some ways, perhaps because they are naturally gifted, but perseverance and hard work can always win out over talent.

Source: Getty

Fail in Your 20s

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Quote:

"The only failure in your 20s is inaction. The rest is trial and error."

Lesson to learn:

Your 20s is a time for experimentation. By not trying, you are failing. Enjoy taking risks while you're young!

Source: Shutterstock

Time Is Precious

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Quote:

"Imagine there is a bank account that credits your account each morning with $86,400. It carries over no balance from day to day. Every evening the bank deletes whatever part of the balance you failed to used during the day. What would you do? Draw out every cent, of course? Each of us has such a bank, its name is time. Every morning, it credits you 86,400 seconds. Every night it writes off at a lost, whatever of this you failed to invest to a good purpose. It carries over no balance. It allows no over draft. Each day it opens a new account for you. Each night it burns the remains of the day. If you fail to use the day's deposits, the loss is yours. There is no drawing against 'tomorrow.' You must live in the present on today's deposits. Invest it so as to get from it the utmost in health, happiness, and health. The clock is running. Make the most of today."

Lesson to learn:

Make the most of the time you have, because you can never get it back.

Source: Shutterstock

There's No Such Thing as "Busy"

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Quote:

"No one is busy in this world. It's all about priorities."

Lesson to learn:

The next time you say you're busy, know that it's an excuse. If you truly prioritize something, you will make time for it. Be it relationships, friendships, or something else — you always have time for anything if you make time.

Source: Shutterstock

Don't Let It Get to You

1 2 1 0 0 0

       

Quote:

"No one can hurt you without your permission."

Lesson to learn:

People can only hurt you if you let them.

Source: Shutterstock

Appreciate Your Parents

5 9 0 0 1 0

       

Quote:

"Never complain about what your parents couldn't give you. It was probably all they had."

Lesson to learn:

A parent's love for their child has no boundaries. Appreciate what they did for you, because they probably gave you all they could.

Source: Shutterstock

Another Side to the Story

0 2 1 0 0 0

       

Quote:

"You never know the truth. You know 'a' truth."

Lesson to learn:

There isn't necessarily one truth — the truth can mean so many different things from different perspectives. There's always another side to a story.

Source: Shutterstock

Be Yourself

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Quote:

"Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken."

Lesson to learn:

Be content with who you are, because you are a unique person that no one else can emulate. Embrace your differences and uniqueness, and don't try to be someone you're not.

Source: Shutterstock

Mind Over Matter

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Quote:

"Whether you think you can, or you think you can't — either way you're right."

Lesson to learn:

You set the tone for your own achievements. If you think you can do it, you will be able to achieve it. If you have a self-defeating attitude, you will likely not be able to attain your goal.

Source: Shutterstock

Don't Judge

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Quote:

"We judge ourselves by our intentions. And others by their actions."

Lesson to learn:

Remember that you may not be seeing the full picture before you judge others. Their intentions may not match their actions.

Source: Shutterstock

It's Not Wasted Time

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Quote:

"The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time."

Lesson to learn:

Don't beat yourself up over activities that are generally not what society considers to be worthwhile. If you're enjoying yourself and if it's making you happy, the time is well spent.

Source: Shutterstock

Find the Ones Who Are Worth It

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Quote:

"The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just have to find the ones that are worth hurting for."

Lesson to learn:

We're all human, so we're all going to make mistakes.

Source: Shutterstock

Don't Forget the Little Moments

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Quote:

"The truth is that airports have seen more sincere kisses than the wedding halls, and the walls of hospitals have heard more prayers than the walls of a church."

Lesson to learn:

Don't forget that love and faith happens in small moments, too. Treasure those moments.

Source: Shutterstock

Things Take Time

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Quote:

"No matter how great the talent or efforts, some thing just take time. You can't produce a baby in one month by getting nine women pregnant."

Lesson to learn:

Have patience. Sometimes, you can't rush things.

Source: Shutterstock

Tell the Truth

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Quote:

"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything."

Lesson to learn:

Lies and exaggerations can catch up with you, so a good policy to live by is to tell the truth. Then you'll never have to worry about slipping up.

Source: Shutterstock

You're Awesome!

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Quote:

"Be the person your dog thinks you are."

Lesson to learn:

Your dog thinks the world of you. He thinks of you as someone who deserves love, affection, and loyalty. And he sees you for who you are and loves you unconditionally. See yourself through your dog's eyes. Try to be what he thinks you are to the rest of the world — imagine what the difference you can make to the world.

Source: Shutterstock

Your Thoughts Become Reality

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Quote:

"I know for sure what we dwell on is who we become."

Lesson to learn:

Be careful of what you often think about. If it's something negative, you can become a negative person. On the other hand, if it's something positive, you'll become more positive. Try to think on the bright side of things when you can.

Source: Shutterstock

Anger Is a Waste of Time

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Quote:

"For every minute you are angry, you lose 60 seconds of happiness."

Lesson to learn:

The time and energy you spend on being angry you can spend on something that will better you, like happiness. Let go of your anger and grudges.

Source: Shutterstock

Don't Be Afraid to Ask Questions

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Quote:

"He who asks a question remains a fool for five minutes. He who does not ask remains a fool forever."

Lesson to learn:

If you don't ask questions, you're not going to find out what the answer is. Don't be afraid of asking them, because people will appreciate your curiosity.

Source: Shutterstock

The True Test of One's Character

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Quote:

"If you want to know what a man's like, take a look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals."

Lesson to learn:

The true test of one's character is the treatment of inferiors, because it's easy to treat one's equals and superiors well.

Source: Shutterstock

Life Goes On

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Quote:

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on."

Lesson to learn:

Regardless of whether something good or bad happens to you, you can take comfort in the fact that life goes on.

Source: Shutterstock

The Memories Live On

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Quote:

"Death ends a life, not a relationship."

Lesson to learn:

Mourn the death of a life, but know that the person will always live on in your heart. You have lost only him or her in the physical sense, but your loved ones will always be with you.

Source: Shutterstock

The Truth Hurts, but It's Better Than the Alternative

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Quote:

"But better to get hurt by the truth than comforted with a lie."

Lesson to learn:

You may be hurt by the truth, but it's better than living with a lie. Use this approach with your loved ones: it's generally better to tell them the truth than to lie to them to make them feel better. Being a good friend sometimes means telling your friends what they need to hear rather than what they want to hear.

Source: Shutterstock

There's No Point to Worrying

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Quote:

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow; it empties today of its strength."

Lesson to learn:

Worrying is not going to help you resolve anything — it only depletes your internal resources.

Source: Shutterstock

Befriend Your Enemies

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Quote:

"Do I not destroy my enemies by making them my friends?"

Lesson to learn:

By battling your enemy, you are hurting yourself and your enemy. By making him your friend, he will no longer be your enemy. Peace wins over war every time.

Source: Shutterstock

Love What You Do

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Quote:

"And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it."

Lesson to learn:

The secret to accomplishing great things at work is to love what you do. Keep taking the steps that will get you closer to a career you love.

Source: Shutterstock

Live in the Now

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Quote:

"Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift; that's why it's called a present."

Lesson to learn:

Live in the present and don't let the past and future trip you up.

Source: Shutterstock

Make Your Own Luck

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Quote:

"Luck is the residue of design."

Lesson to learn:

Many things don't happen by chance. You can work to make your own luck with smart planning and effort.